I Reprimanded A Priest, I Didn’t Return A Billionaire’s Call. Find Out Why

This month’s article is on the power of an effective HEADLINE. All of your advertising should start with a headline and a sub-headline (just like this). What did the priest do that ticked me off? And why didn’t I call that billionaire back…twice? Keep reading!

Let me tell you about the billionaire first, and then the priest. Then we’ll get into this headline thing.

The billionaire: I’m sure that everyone returns Tom’s calls. I didn’t return two of his. Most people say, “yes” to everything he wants. First of all, I’m no yes man! I’m no butt kisser either (as I’m sure you’re not). Never been. Never will. But besides that, I don’t like the guy. He did something way back when he was only a millionaire that really ticked me off. I don’t like his character. And he’s done some things to other friends of mine that were not kosher. Oh, he called me twice because he wanted to use my delivery service. I thought he was up to no good and I was right. A few months later he set up his two step sons in the dry cleaning delivery business. They lasted a year and bye, bye! He should of called me and offered to buy my business (he’s a billionaire) or just been up front about it. That would have been the upstanding thing to do. But Tom is the billionaire with no couth.

The priest: First of all, I know this priest very well. He’s a family friend. He goes on our annual golf trip with my dad, my brothers and many of our friends…twenty-four total. A couple of years ago Father Roger was getting on my nerves. This is a friendly competition and he thought that Johnny had fifteen clubs in his bag (you can only have fourteen). Johnny did, but the 15th was a training club. Back ten years ago you could carry a training club in your bag. But not now though. I told “Rev” (as I call him) that this was not the case and he was wrong. And I told him that it was a friendly match. He pressed on. He got my brother Gary (everyone loves Gary because he’s soooo nice) to check his bag. Father made a big production out of it. I quietly went to the pro and asked. I was right. You could carry a training club. Father was wrong not only for his violation call, but for this friendly competition call. I gave him a piece of my mind and he apologized to Johnny and to me. I had to reprimand him a couple of years later for something else, but that’s another story.

Enough, let’s talk about headlines. A headline is an attention getter. It’s the most important part of your advertising. If it’s an ad, the headline should be in a really big font like the beginning of this article. If it’ a TV or radio commercial, it’s the first thing you say to get their attention. Any sells letter should begin with a compelling headline.

Most dry cleaners don’t use headlines. Most put something cute or clever at the top of their advertising. The dry cleaner likes it because they came up with it, so they think all their potential customers will like it. And then they run the ad and it bombs and they think it’s the magazines fault that it didn’t work. I’ve had advertising for my dry cleaning business work in every print and mail medium. I’ve never tried radio or TV, but I’m sure I could get it to work there.

So, it’s NOT the ValPak. NOT the newspaper. NOT the postcard. And definitely NOT the direct mail, that DOESN’T work. It’s you! It’s the ad you wrote with NO headline. Or not a very good headline, that didn’t work.

Sorry to be so blunt, but this is important direct marketing stuff. You must understand this to get your advertising to work.

Do you see how the headline of this article drew you in? And then the sub-headline kept you reading? And then the first paragraph got you to read more? And now you’re reading this and probably the rest of the article?

A direct marketing piece that I wrote and tested 7 years ago is bringing in millions in revenue every year, with my member dry cleaners. It took me eighteen months of testing different headlines and offers (we’ll talk about that next month) to get this direct marketing piece to get to where it was profitable. This is not rocket science, but it’s hard work and patience to get something like this to work.

Since then, I’ve found a simple and fast way to test headlines. Actually I have two ways. The first is my Starbucks survey. I come up with 3 or 4 headlines that I think will work. I’ll pick what I think is the winner, and I’m usually wrong. You see, it’s not my opinion of what I think will work, it’s my prospective customer’s opinion that is the final decision. So here’s how this works: I print out 10 separate sheets of 3 or 4 headlines. I approach people in Starbucks and ask them if they could spend just one minute helping me by picking the headline that grabs their attention. I go to ten people and ooh-la-la…I have my headline. Don’t get too excited. There is a still lot of work to do. This little idea would have saved me months in the letter I was just telling you about.

Now you have to take that headline and write the rest of the ad and start testing it with different offers. Once you’ve done that, you’ll have an effective and very profitable piece of advertising that will last for many years.

That marketing piece I was telling you about is getting long lasting, high spending, high quality route customers for less than fifty bucks each. It’s working with 400-plus dry cleaners all over the world. It’s even been translated into Spanish. I’m just finishing up six months of retesting it to see if it can be improved. I hired a copywriting consultant to help me this time. The good news is that after six months of testing, this guy kicked it up notch. It’s well worth the time and money I paid him.

If you’d like my Master Headline Template, you can find it here: nodoorknockingroutemagic.com/100headlines/.

Thanks for listening. I hope your marketing reaches new heights!

To find out more quirky ideas on how to raise your revenue, go to my blog: DryCleaningMarketing.com or call (888) 661-7992.

About Greg Colosi

Greg Colosi helps dry cleaners get route customers WITHOUT knocking on doors (even though door knocking is a great way to get customers). All of Greg’s marketing ideas are tested by him or several of his 400+ members, so you won’t get theory, you’ll only get ideas that produce new customers and revenue. To find out more quirky ideas on how to raise your revenue, go to my blog: DryCleaningMarketing.com or call (888) 661-7992.